


On the Internet, No One Knows You're Donald Trump

by Anonymous



Category: Political RPF, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Important Human Themes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 21:50:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5842234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Donald Trump stumbles upon fanfiction of Lapis Lazuli squirting him with a water gun, his world is turned upsidedown. How can a man pull himself up by his bootstraps when they are so slippery with the bitter tears of love mocked?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Donald Trump Takes Down Lapis Takes Down Donald Trump

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lapis Takes Down Donald Trump](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5778196) by [InsominiacArrest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest). 
  * Inspired by [a reylo fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5457191) by [treezie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/treezie/pseuds/treezie). 



Donald adjusted his best toupee and tightened the knot on his seven thousand dollar tie. He liked to feel classy when he browsed AO3, like all businessmen. He checked the tag for Lapis, his beloved space rock wife on the space rock astral plane. She was his favorite gem of all. Oh, Lapis!

His breath caught in his throat. A fic with him and Lapis together? Could it be? Trembling with anticipation, he clicked the link. And his world crashed down upon him. Lapis would never! She would love him and be his vice president of the US and Space! She would absolutely hate this classless excuse for a fanfic, the kind of shoddy, overbudget fanfic the Fanworks Projects Administration would write under some huge commie!

There was only one way to set this right. He would write what would really happen if dear, perfect Lapis read a fic like this! It would be a work so poingent that everyone who saw it would understand how right he was, just like when Richard Rahl carved those statues! He would do it. He would be the Richard Rahl and, Lapis, his beloved Kahlan. They would cosplay together and win awards. And no one would ever squirt fictional him with a fictional water gun again.


	2. The Kudosed Get Kudoseder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donald Trump is inspired by the success of another self-made author to spice up his fandom life on the astral plane.

Donald Trump, aglow with his recent victory AO3 over the libelous leftists of Steven Universe fandom, clicked over to the exciting new blockbuster fandom and investigated its best fic. He ususally kudosed the best fic in a fandom without even reading it - the market had already spoken and he was a very busy businessman! But this fic was short enough for even a top executive such as himself to enjoy. It was certainly a masterpiece of style, but he felt an unfamiliar twinge in his heart at the obliteration of dear Kylo. 

Well, the true entrepeneur always kept an eye open for a market niche to be filled! He adjusted his tie and began to type. 

_donald trump and laips were on a romatic date when they saw rey pick up kylo ren and about to dunk him in a dumpster. cool swinging couple they were, they didn't even have to say a word and donald jumped up and caught kylo in his strong arms, savining him from the dumpster. meanwhile lapis made finger guns at rey, "hey girl." and rey swooned into her arms._

 _then they all went back to one of donalds penthouses and boned._


End file.
